{"id":138,"date":"2006-10-01T19:10:00","date_gmt":"2006-10-01T19:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=138"},"modified":"2006-10-01T19:10:00","modified_gmt":"2006-10-01T19:10:00","slug":"cracking-the-coconut","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=138","title":{"rendered":"CRACKING THE COCONUT."},"content":{"rendered":"

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There are some people whose only taste of COCONUT during their entire lives was within the context of an Almond Joy or Raspberry Zinger. <\/p>\n

Come to think of it, that still sounds like a pretty damn good life. But a true coco-head really should try this ambrosia in its purest state. <\/p>\n

So this afternoon, my daughter–who, BTW, loves COCONUT almost as much as I do–and I created this short tutorial. But before I begin, let me put your minds at ease. The victim in this tutorial was not Captain Coconut. It was a stunt double.<\/p>\n

So, let’s get started.<\/p>\n

Step 1: Take a COCONUT, a hammer and a Phillips-head screwdriver. Then, reenact that famous scene from “Oedipus Rex.” Yes, that’s right…you must drive that screwdriver through two of the COCONUT’S eyes. No, it’s not necessary that the COCONUT in question marry his mother. Drain the liquid from the COCONUT and drink it, or something. <\/p>\n

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Step 2: Roast the whole COCONUT in a 375\u00baF oven for twenty minutes.<\/p>\n

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Step 3: When cool, grab that hammer again and crack the COCONUT.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Step 4: Peel the dark brown skin off of the outside of the COCONUT flesh.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Step 5: Crunch away, amigos. <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There are some people whose only taste of COCONUT during their entire lives was within the context of an Almond Joy or Raspberry Zinger. Come to think of it, that still sounds like a pretty damn good life. But a true coco-head really should try this ambrosia in its purest state. So this afternoon, my … Continue reading CRACKING THE COCONUT.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-138","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p75qi3-2e","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":121,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=121","url_meta":{"origin":138,"position":0},"title":"A VISIT FROM THE IRISH COCONUT FAIRY.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"October 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"The doorbell rang yesterday and there, again, was the smiling face of my DHL guy. He was holding two large boxes.\u201cAnders?\u201d was my first thought. But that seemed unlikely, since my 2006 Oktoberfest care-package had already been received, devoured and the bottles recycled.I signed for the delivery, brought the boxes\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 22 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 22 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=121#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":250,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=250","url_meta":{"origin":138,"position":1},"title":"THE GHOST OF HALLOWEEN PAST.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"November 8, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"All this talk about Halloween has gotten me thinking about candy lately. In particular, the Halloweeen candy that I used to snarf en masse during in the 1970\u2019s--a simpler, gentler time when children were neither clinically obese nor allergic to peanuts.So...for lack of any better ideas at the moment, I\u2019ve\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 14 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 14 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=250#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":152,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=152","url_meta":{"origin":138,"position":2},"title":"LOCO FOR COCONUT.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"September 7, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m not shy about my passion for coconut.It\u2019s on my mind nearly every minute of every day. I covet it when I\u2019m awake. I dream about it when I\u2019m asleep. When other teenagers were sniffing glue, I was sniffing Hawaiian Tropic suntan oil.Of course, I can find coconut in Spain.\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 13 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 13 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=152#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":126,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=126","url_meta":{"origin":138,"position":3},"title":"“FOURPLAY.”","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"October 12, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Duck, and cover!My hormones have reached the four COCONUT level! This is uncharted territory.So potentially volatile, in fact, that I thought it prudent to have a guest artist decorate the fourth COCONUT. As such, I let my daughter do the honors. Her COCONUT de jour is sort of a cross\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 13 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 13 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=126#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":125,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=125","url_meta":{"origin":138,"position":4},"title":"FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"October 14, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Late last night (which, coincidentally, was Friday the thirteenth), our good friend Lisa left a Comment in the VTB Chat Lounge that had all the earmarks of a true-life horror movie.She claimed that she once had a COCONUT in her kitchen, and...and...and...it exploded!Well...my initial reaction was that this fantastic tale\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 17 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 17 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=125#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":136,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=136","url_meta":{"origin":138,"position":5},"title":"MILESTONE ALERT!","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"October 4, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Well...it seems that COCONUT isn't the only thing that's been cracked on this VTB lately. Last night, my hit counter cracked 50,000. Thanks to all of you VTB Regular Irregulars for visiting so often and keeping me company during these past two+ years.","rel":"","context":"With 20 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 20 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=136#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=138"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}