{"id":208,"date":"2006-03-16T05:17:00","date_gmt":"2006-03-16T05:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=208"},"modified":"2006-03-16T05:17:00","modified_gmt":"2006-03-16T05:17:00","slug":"looking-for-comedy-in-the-spanish-speaking-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=208","title":{"rendered":"LOOKING FOR COMEDY IN THE SPANISH-SPEAKING WORLD."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

[Note: Here is yet another essay that I\u2019ve recently had published in Expatica Spain<\/a>.]<\/em><\/p>\n

Someone once said that, \u201cA little knowledge is a dangerous thing.\u201d That\u2019s especially true when \u201clittle knowledge\u201d pertains to a foreign language.<\/p>\n

For those of us who were not born with the linguistic gifts of the average Belgian, navigating the peaks and valleys of daily life in Spain\u2014in Spanish\u2014can be fraught with peril. Peril, that is, not to the body\u2014but rather, to the ego. Why? Because in the hands of the lazy or ill-prepared, a little knowledge of Spanish can lead to, at best, a good laugh\u2014and at worst, an acute case of foot-in-mouth disease.<\/p>\n

Here are some examples of what I\u2019m talking about. Many of these were taken from my own checkered history of bilingual ineptitude. Others (particularly the less naughty ones) were the products of a brainstorming session with my good friend, fellow US expat and Vaughan Radio on-air personality, Drew Crosby<\/a>.<\/p>\n

EXAMPLE 1: \u201cDYC.\u201d <\/p>\n

Based on a poorly-controlled, roundly unscientific study I\u2019ve conducted over the past six years, the most popular liquor in Spain is Dyc. Dyc is a Scotch-style whiskey. It is typically mixed with Coca-cola and guzzled in disturbing quantities by twenty-something Spanish men. It\u2019s also my first (and perhaps favorite) example of a false cognate. Why? Because this product\u2019s name is pronounced \u201cdeek.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right…\u201cdeek!\u201d<\/p>\n

Why-oh-why some misguided marketing executive decided to name a brand of whiskey after the English slang word for male genitalia is beyond me. Perhaps he viewed globalization as passing fad.<\/p>\n

But it gets worse. When Spaniards place their orders with a bartender, they don\u2019t ask for \u201cDyc.\u201d No…they ask for \u201cWhiskey Dyc.\u201d <\/p>\n

Spelled differently but pronounced the same, the term \u201cwhiskey Dyc\u201d in English slang means\u2014are you ready for this?\u2014alcohol-induced impotence. <\/p>\n

Ironic, isn\u2019t it? That which Spanish men routinely request, their English-speaking counterparts routinely deny. <\/p>\n

EXAMPLE 2: \u201cESTAR CONSTIPADO\/A.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Spanish phrase \u201cEstoy constipado\/a\u201d means that the speaker\u2019s head and chest are congested\u2014usually due to a cold or allergy. But its English cognate (i.e., \u201cI am constipated\u201d) means congestion of quite another sort. Of course, none of my Spanish professors bothered to explain this subtle yet important distinction…and the results were predictable. <\/p>\n

I was working in a large law firm in Barcelona, and sharing an office with another lawyer. My office-mate was a woman of immense beauty, elegance and professionalism. One morning during the month of March, she entered the office and slouched in her chair.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning,\u201d I said. \u201cHow are you today?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot very well,\u201d she answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? What\u2019s wrong?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cEstoy constipada.\u201d<\/p>\n

I sat there for several seconds, frozen in shock. And then, sensing an awkward silence, I uttered the first response that popped into my head.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell…what have you been eating for breakfast?\u201d<\/p>\n

EXAMPLE 3: \u201cESTAR EMBARAZADA.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pregnancy is a time of great joy. It\u2019s certainly *not* a time of embarrassment\u2014unless the father happens to be one of those idiots from Gran Hermano. <\/p>\n

Unfortunately, the Spanish phrase \u201cEstoy embarazada\u201d implies otherwise to the English-speaking ear. It sounds remarkably close to \u201cI am embarrassed.\u201d But in fact, it means, \u201cI am pregnant.\u201d <\/p>\n

Confusing, isn\u2019t it? I suspect that I\u2019m not the only man in Spain who has announced his pregnancy at a crowded dinner party.<\/p>\n

EXAMPLE 4: \u201cCUCURUCHO.\u201d ALWAYS REMEMBER \u201cCUCURUCHO.\u201d <\/p>\n

Even the wholesome world of ice cream can be a minefield. Take the Spanish word \u201ccucurucho.\u201d It sounds like the name of that wiry guy who delivered pizzas when you were a grad student in New Haven, Connecticut. But in fact, cucurucho means a cone for ice cream. <\/p>\n

Please, please, please…remember the word \u201ccucurucho,\u201d because there exists a false cognate just waiting to humiliate you. That cognate is \u201cco\u00f1o.\u201d <\/p>\n

Let me be clear about one thing. This word does NOT mean cone. In Spanish, co\u00f1o is [ahem] a gynecological term\u2014but one so vulgar that no respectable gynecologist would dare utter it outside the confines of a bowling alley. And it\u2019s a word that I misused once, and only once. <\/p>\n

I was in the seaside town of Javea; between Valencia and Alicante. It was a hot summer day, and I spotted a cafeteria with an ice cream bar. I flagged-down a waitress.<\/p>\n

\u201cHello. I\u2019d like two scoops of coconut ice cream, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you like it in a bowl?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d I answered. \u201cI\u2019d like it in a co\u00f1o.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bless the professionalism of that presumably underpaid waitress. Looking down at her shoes, she briskly plopped two scoops onto a sugar cone. Only her furled brow and quivering lower lip hinted at the tsunami of repressed laughter that struggled to unleash itself from the confines of her convulsing throat. When I was told of my error later that day, I had only one thought. Thank God that I opted for coconut ice cream, rather wild cherry.<\/p>\n

On a separate but equally-important note, take care to use the correct gender when ordering chicken in Spanish.<\/p>\n

OTHER MISCELLANEOUS EXAMPLES:<\/p>\n

A \u201cganga\u201d is not something to run from. It\u2019s something to run toward. <\/p>\n

An \u201c\u00e9xito\u201d is not a way out. It\u2019s a way up. <\/p>\n

A \u201ccarpeta\u201d isn\u2019t something that\u2019s thrown onto the floor. It is thrown into a drawer.
\u00a0
If you have high blood pressure, then it\u2019s not sensible to be too \u201csensible.\u201d <\/p>\n

The phrase \u201cen absoluto\u201d does not mean \u201cabsolutely.\u201d To the contrary, it means \u201cto the contrary.\u201d \u00a0<\/p>\n

And always remember…\u201ccucurucho\u201d means cone.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[Note: Here is yet another essay that I\u2019ve recently had published in Expatica Spain.] Someone once said that, \u201cA little knowledge is a dangerous thing.\u201d That\u2019s especially true when \u201clittle knowledge\u201d pertains to a foreign language. For those of us who were not born with the linguistic gifts of the average Belgian, navigating the peaks … Continue reading LOOKING FOR COMEDY IN THE SPANISH-SPEAKING WORLD.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p75qi3-3m","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":165,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=165","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":0},"title":"A SHOWERING OF IDEAS.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"July 5, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"[Note: This is an essay that was recently published in Expatica Spain. Yes, yes, yes...I know that I\u2019m going to catch hell for this photo, but it is, in fact, the photo that Expatica published.And besides...it\u2019s not my fault. Do you know whose fault it is? The Big Finn\u2019s. He\u2019s\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 23 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 23 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=165#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":176,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=176","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":1},"title":"OLIVE OIL ECONOMICS.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"June 7, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"[Note: This is an essay that was recently published in Expatica Spain]. Tonight for dinner, I\u2019ll be having veal cutlets saut\u00e9ed in butter and served with an apple, cream and Calvados sauce.No, it\u2019s not that I\u2019ve suddenly become a French food fanatic. It\u2019s just that...I can no longer afford to\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 6 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 6 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=176#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":202,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=202","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":2},"title":"DAYS OF WINE AND…MORE WINE.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"March 27, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"[Note: This is an essay that was recently published in Expatica Spain.]I come from a long line of great wine drinkers. This should not, however, be confused with coming from a long line of drinkers of great wine.My paternal grandfather made home-made wine in the basement of his New York\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 34 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 34 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=202#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":186,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=186","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":3},"title":"THANKS FOR THE MEME-RIES (EXPATICA EDITION)","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"May 6, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"[Note: This is an essay that was recently published in Expatica Spain. The title is the same as an earlier post, but the content is different.]It seems that no self-respecting, twenty-first century blog can survive without posting an occasional meme.What\u2019s a \u201cmeme?\u201d To be honest, I\u2019m still not 100% sure.\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 16 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 16 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=186#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":294,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=294","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":4},"title":"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"July 6, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Tomorrow begins Pamplona\u2019s annual Festival of San Ferm\u00edn. And that means\u2026the Running of the Bulls!Go to the Expatica Spain website and check out my essay on this annual testament to man\u2019s idiocy.","rel":"","context":"With 6 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 6 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=294#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":308,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=308","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":5},"title":"FINALLY\u2026THE EXPLANATION.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"May 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Well\u2026I guess that I\u2019ve teased enough.Why haven\u2019t I published much on this blog lately? Because I\u2019ve been chosen to be the \u201cExpat Blogger\u201d for the Expatica Spain website.It\u2019s an exciting opportunity. Expatica is a news website for English-speaking foreigners living in Spain. It has a readership of 30,000+. Expatica has\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 5 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 5 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=308#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=208"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=208"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=208"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}