{"id":288,"date":"2005-07-16T16:35:00","date_gmt":"2005-07-16T16:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=288"},"modified":"2005-07-16T16:35:00","modified_gmt":"2005-07-16T16:35:00","slug":"the-marchamalo-nohtaram","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=288","title":{"rendered":"THE MARCHAMALO NOHTARAM."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a> <\/div>\n
My internal aggression tank was approaching \u201cfull\u201d this afternoon, and I decided that a three-mile jog was both prudent and necessary. So I donned my Nikes and\u2014despite the 35\u00baC heat\u2014embarked on a trot around town.<\/p>\n

As I jogged along our downtown\u2019s main street, I noticed that it had been closed-off to traffic and was lined with red pylons. There were policemen standing along the sidewalks, and they were looking at me in an odd way.<\/p>\n

Further down the street was a group of men wearing red nylon vests. As I approached, one of them began waving his arms at me. The following conversation ensued: <\/p><\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

Man in red<\/strong>: \u201cYou\u2019re going the wrong way!\u201d<\/p>\n

Sal<\/strong> [angrily ripping the headphones from his ears]: \u201cWhat?!\u201d<\/p>\n

Man in red<\/strong> [louder]: \u201cYou\u2019re going the wrong way!!\u201d<\/p>\n

Sal<\/strong>: \u201cWhat the fricky-frack-ferris-wheel are you talking about?!!!\u201d<\/p>\n

Man in red<\/strong>: \u201cThe Marchamalo Marathon! You\u2019re supposed to be running in the other direction!\u201d <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/div>\n
Can you believe it?! The neighboring town of Marchamalo sponsored a marathon this afternoon, the course cut through the center of my town, and I was unknowingly running it\u2026but in the opposite direction!<\/p>\n

Between this incident, the cigarette moocher<\/a>, and the unending stream of lost drivers in need of directions<\/a>\u2026I must be the Inspector Clouseau of the jogging world.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m beginning to understand why people buy treadmills.<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My internal aggression tank was approaching \u201cfull\u201d this afternoon, and I decided that a three-mile jog was both prudent and necessary. So I donned my Nikes and\u2014despite the 35\u00baC heat\u2014embarked on a trot around town. As I jogged along our downtown\u2019s main street, I noticed that it had been closed-off to traffic and was lined … Continue reading THE MARCHAMALO NOHTARAM.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p75qi3-4E","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":270,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=270","url_meta":{"origin":288,"position":0},"title":"I\u2019M BAAAACK.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"September 8, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Hi folks. Remember me?I\u2019ve just returned from two weeks\u2019 vacation. Sorry for not providing advance notice, but\u2014given that I\u2019ve long-since disclosed my true name and home-town\u2014it didn\u2019t seem prudent to tell the Internet\u2019s three zillion users that the material possessions in my vacant house would be available for an unobstructed\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 7 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 7 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=270#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":320,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=320","url_meta":{"origin":288,"position":1},"title":"MARATHON MAN.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"April 5, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"It has been brought to my attention that\u2014with my 38th birthday a month or so away\u2014I\u2019ve nearly reached middle-age. Most mathematicians would, in fact, round me up to forty. This disturbing realization led to a bout of internal reflection\u2014from which I emerged determined to improve my physical fitness.Now, in fairness\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 9 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 9 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=320#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":262,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=262","url_meta":{"origin":288,"position":2},"title":"NO SMOKE AT THIS VATICAN.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"October 3, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"You can drink from a flower pot. You can wash in a flower pot. You can even sleep in a flower pot. But...do you know what you *can\u2019t* do in a flower pot? Do you? I\u2019ll tell you. Come closer. Are you listening? Good.YOU CAN\u2019T COOK BBQ IN A FLOWER\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 13 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 13 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=262#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=12","url_meta":{"origin":288,"position":3},"title":"MIAMI VICE","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"February 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"A half-marathon is a great excuse for a trip to Miami! But let's be honest. An unanaesthetized root canal is also a great excuse for a trip to Miami. It's Miami, for god's sake! The excuse part is strictly optional. But an excuse is an excuse, and there's no reason\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 3 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 3 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=12#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":406,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=406","url_meta":{"origin":288,"position":4},"title":"SATURDAY BLOODY SATURDAY.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"July 25, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"I detailed in my July 19, 2004 post that Cabanillas del Campo\u2019s \u201cPeople and Bulls Festival\u201d was in full swing, and that its final four days would feature a running of the bulls each morning. I also promised that I would attend one of the runnings \u2013 strictly as a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43,"url":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=43","url_meta":{"origin":288,"position":5},"title":"FAT SAL’S & PUMPKIN’S ANNUAL [RECYCLED] CHRISTMAS POEM.","author":"Sal DeTraglia","date":"December 17, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"T\u2019was the night before ChristmasAnd all throughout SpainTowns were dry, scorched and dustyAnother year without rain.Water bottles were placedBy the doorstep with careAlthough nobody seems to knowWhy they\u2019re put there.The Spaniards were nestledAll snug in their bedsA day\u2019s intake of brandyLeft dull pains in their heads.I sat at my AppleFilled\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 6 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 6 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/?p=43#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/288","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=288"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/288\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=288"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=288"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.saldetraglia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=288"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}