THE JERK.

When I was completing my MBA at the University of Illinois more than a decade ago, I had a classmate named Bigby.

Bigby was from Jamaica . He was in his late 40’s to early 50’s. He had a house with sound/light system, dance floor and disco ball in the basement. And he LOVED to throw parties.

At one of Bigby’s parties, his wife (also Jamaican) walked in carrying a silver platter piled high with Jerk Pork.

Now…I had eaten Jerk Pork many times beforehand—including at a roadside stand in Ocho Rios , Jamaica —and liked it. But Bigby’s Jerk Pork was on a whole ‘nuther level. It was thick, dark and heavy with spice. It had a pungency that would send your nostrils into spasm. And it was hot enough to melt your contact lenses.

In short, it was a Jerk Pork that I’d remember on my death bed.

And like a complete moron, I FORGOT TO ASK FOR THE FRIGGIN’ RECIPE!!!

This unforgivable, life-ruining, lapse of reason has haunted me ever since. In short, it was a screw-up that I’d remember on my death bed.

But alas…teeter-totter of life has a miraculous way of leveling itself. “Spoon”—the woman at Acme Low Carb Tongue Depressors, Inc. whose office is next door to mine—recently emailed me a recipe for Jerk Pork that she claimed was barn-burner.

Last weekend, Agatha and I made the recipe. I still can’t believe it. It’s as good as Bigby’s.

Sing with me, bruhdahs!

Won’t you help to sing
These songs of freedom

Cause all I ever have

Redemption songs

Redemption songs.

JERK [FILL IN THE BLANK]

The Marinade:

4 Habanero or Scotch Bonnet chiles—do NOT remove seeds or ribs
4 cloves garlic
4 scallions
1-2 inch ginger
1 sprig thyme
¼ c. packed brown sugar
4 t. ground allspice
4 t. chile powder
2 t. cinnamon
2 t. nutmeg
¾ c. vegetable oil
¼ c. lime juice (fresh)
2/3 c. soy sauce
Black pepper

Step 1: Puree the above ingredients in a blender until smooth.
Step 2: Reserve ¼ c. of marinade for the Dipping Sauce (see below)

The Meat:

If grilling: Pork tenderloin; Pork chops; Chicken parts; and/or Skirt steak.
If smoking: Pork Boston Butt; Pork spare ribs; Pork baby back ribs; Beef brisket; Chicken (whole, split vertically).
Step 1: If you haven’t already, reserve ¼ c. of the marinade for Dipping Sauce.
Step 2: Marinade meat for 24 hours in the fridge.
Step 3: Grill or smoke the marinated meat.

The Dipping Sauce:

¼ c. of reserved Jerk Marinade
1 c. chicken stock or broth
Step 1: Whisk together ingredients in a sauce pan.
Step 2: Reduce on stovetop until thickened.

Update (October 30, 2016) — Slow Cooked Jerk Goat Stew:

The Chicago Cubs are in the World Series, and not doing very well.  So, in a civic-minded effort to break the Curse of the Billy Goat, we invited some Cubs fans/friends over for a lunch of Jerk Goat.  The butcher at the halal meat market (where I bought the goat) recommended braising the meat in a sauce, rather than grilling or roasting.  So I adapted the recipe above as follows:

Step 1:  Buy two goat legs (approximately 7 lbs total), each cut into three large hunks.

Step 2:  Triple the Jerk Marinade recipe above.

Step 3:  Marinade the goat for 24 hours as described above, and reserve the rest of the Jerk Marinade (which will be a lot) in the fridge.

Step 4:  Place goat hunks in large slow cooker.

Step 5:  Dilute the reserved Jerk Marinade with chicken broth and beer.  You will want the proportions to be 2 parts Jerk Marinade, 1 part chicken broth, and 1 part beer.

Step 6:  Pour the Marinade/broth/beer mixture into slow cooker until it covers the goat.  I also added chopped kale and peas, because my wife demands vegetables with her meal.

Step 7:  Set slow cooker to “low,” and cook for 12 hours.

Step 8:  Remove goat hunks from slow cooker, pull meat from the bones, and return meat to the slow cooker.

We served the Jerk Goat with basmati rice and a creamy cole slaw (to reset your tongue when the habanero burn encroaches).

6 thoughts on “THE JERK.”

  1. OH… MY …GOD!!!!! OX will kill ME if I don’t do that one soon!

    PS: I’d rather not see the mess of splittig a chicken horizontally!What to use i that case?… A chain saw??

    PPS: My word verif is: Housi. How cute!

    Reply
  2. Seriously…you guys would love this recipe. It´s killer. We served it with a quinoa pilaf with apples and pecans. Way killer.

    Regarding chicken mutilation, split it vertically. Horizonally would be better for hiding a bowling ball. Either way, it´s a job best left to that guy in the supermarket with the big knife.

    Reply
  3. Yuuuum! This sounds SO good. I don’t know if the sensitive palates in this household could handle it ,though, without reducing the chilis. Will have to try it with and without and report back.

    Reply
  4. I met some real jerk the other week… unfortunately, it wasn’t the edible type.

    Good to see that you’re doing fine. I guess you’re back in the States now too.

    Have a safe and happy 2009!

    Reply

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