BACCALA BALLS TO THE WALL.

I’ve written passionately (here and here) about my family’s annual Christmas Eve seafood-only blowout that we call “Fishmas” and others call “Feast of the Seven Fishes.” It’s an Italian-American ritual that has been observed and perpetuated by my family for decades longer than I’ve been alive.

I’ve even gone so far as to document photos of, and recipes for, our typical Fishmas courses because…you know…some day I’ll be dead.

While certain Fishmas courses–such as linguini with calamari, linguini with anchovy, and most importantly…fried smelts–are locked in permanent rotation, other courses have come, went, and/or evolved throughout the years.

This year, however, we went retro on one new course. Except that it wasn’t new at all.

Inspired by the fantastic movie “Feast of the Seven Fishes,” we made Baccala Balls.

Baccala (bacalao in Spanish, salt cod in English) was on my grandparents’ Fishmas table throughout the 40s, 50s, and 60s. They eventually cast it aside, however, because (#RealTalk!) it’s a pain in the ass to make. It’s called “salt cod” because (unsurprisingly) it’s cod preserved in salt. And the only way to get rid of the salt is to soak it in many changes of water.

How many changes? Nine. Nine changes of water over three days.

Well, let me tell ya…those water changes were worth the effort, because the Baccala Balls that we introduced this year were balls-to-the-wall awesome. Recipe and photos below.

THE INGREDIENTS

1 lbs. Baccala (salt cod) [Note: Available on-line or at your local H-Mart Korean superstore]

Panko bread crumbs

Eggs

Flour

1/4 c Mayo

1.5 t Old Bay or Cajun seasoning

Small handful of chopped fresh parsley

4 Scallions (minced)

Salt & pepper

Vegetable oil

THE ASSEMBLY

STEP 1: Place baccala in a pan or bowl. Cover with cold water and place in fridge.

STEP 2: Change the water at least three times per day for three days. This is required to rid the baccala of the preservative salt. Nobody likes salty fish…especially Uncle Tony with the high blood pressure.

STEP 3: After day 3, pull the flesh from the skin and bones and shred finely. I use a fork (or two) to do this step. Pick out any bones remaining within the flesh, so that you don’t require a Christmas Eve trip to Urgent Care.

STEP 4: In a large bowl, combine the shredded baccala, scallions, parsley, Old Bay (or Cajun) seasoning, mayo, and 4-5 T of Panko. Add salt and pepper to taste.

STEP 5: Add 1 egg, and fold into mixture.

STEP 6: Grab a bit of the baccala mixture, and roll into a ball with your hands. #ProTip: If you gently/slightly squash the ball with the palms of your hands, it will be easier to fry both sides evenly.

STEP 7: Set up two plates with a bowl in the middle. Fill plate on the left with flour. Fill middle bowl with beaten eggs. Fill plate on right with Panko bread crumbs seasoned with salt, pepper, and Old Bay (or Cajun) seasoning to taste.

STEP 8: Fill sauté pan with a couple inches of vegetable oil. Heat to frying temperature (i.e., pretty damn hot).

STEP 9: Dredge baccala ball in flour, then egg, then seasoned Panko. Gently place in oil. Fry until golden brown on one side, flip, then fry til golden brown on other side.

STEP 10: Place fried baccala balls on cooling rack or paper towel-lined plate. Taste and decide if it needs another sprinkling of salt. Serve as is, or with a dipping sauce (I like a chipotle-spiked remolade sauce).

Merry Fishmas, Charlie Brownavecchio!

Getting ready to soak the baccala.
Change that water nine times over three days.
Pull the flesh from the skin/bones and shred.
Mix it all up.
Add an egg and mix some more.
Roll them into balls.
Dredge in flour/egg/panko, then fry them up.

ON THE SEVENTH COURSE OF FISHMAS…

ON THE FIRST course of Fishmas my goombah gave to me…

Shrimp Cocktail with Remoulade

Step 1: Boil, cool, peel, chill shrimp.

Step 2: For Remoulade, combine the following ingredients in a bowl and stir: 3/4 c Mayo; 1t cider vinegar; 2t Dijon mustard; 2t whole grain mustard; 2t capers; 1t Louisiana hot sauce; chopped scallions; chopped cilantro; salt and pepper.

ON THE SECOND course of Fishmas my goombah gave to me…

Lobster Rolls

[*Truth be told, we bought these from Goldbelly and had them shipped to our house. Don’t judge.]

ON THE THIRD course of Fishmas my goombah gave to me…

Steamed Clams

Step 1: Rinse clams to remove grit. Toss out any that are open or have cracked shells.

Step 2: Steam 1-2 minutes until shells open. Serve as is, with melted butter, or with hot sauce. Toss out any clams that don’t open.

ON THE FOURTH course of Fishmas my goombah gave to me…

Fried Smelts

Step 1: Using a very sharp paring knife, slit open the belly of headless/gutted smelt from [former] head to tail fin. Open the body so that this is flattened/butterflied. Run the knife tip down one side of the spine. Holding the knife blade on its side parallel to the opened/flattened smelt, slide it in a sawing motion under the head-side tip of the spine and continue down to the tail side. Lift spine from body and cut off at the tail fin. For 1 lbs. of smelt, this will be 30 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back. But on the bright side, there will be no Christmas Eve trips to urgent care to have a pin bone extracted from your esophagus.

Step 2: Line up three bowls. One with flour, the second with beaten eggs, and the third with panko bread crumbs. Season the flour and panko with salt, pepper, and Old Bay.

Step 3: Heat canola oil (or other fat with a high smoke point…my mother uses Crisco) in shallow fryer or pan to 425F. Dredge smelt in flour, shake, then egg, then panko, shake.

Step 4: Insert smelt into hot oil and fry until golden brown on underside. Flip and repeat. I like to use wooden chopsticks for this step–but real men use their fingers.

Step 5: When perfectly fried, remove smelt from oil, lay on cookie/cake cooling rack (or paper towel-lined plate), and sprinkle with a wee bit of kosher salt.

ON THE FIFTH course of Fishmas my goombah gave to me…

Linguini with Calamari Sauce

Step 1: Add 1/3 c. olive oil to sauce pan. Saute 1 thinly sliced onion until soft and translucent. Then add 6 anchovy filets for 30 seconds, then 3 minced garlic cloves for 30 seconds. Then, add one small can of tomato paste and fry until it darkens.

Step 2: Add 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes, 15oz can of tomato sauce, and 1 bay leaf. Stir and simmer for 30 minutes over low heat.

Step 3: Add 2 lbs cleaned squid body tubes (cut into rings) and tentacles. The more tentacles, the better. Simmer for additional 15 minutes. Stir in 1 c. chopped parsley or basil before serving. Makes enough sauce for 1 lbs. of linguini. Don’t forget the Parmesan or Romano cheese (it needs that extra dimension of flavor).

ON THE SIXTH course of Fishmas my goombah gave to me…

Linguini with Garlic & Anchovy Sauce

Step 1: Add 1 c. olive oil to sauce pan, plus the oil from one tin of anchovies. Saute 8 minced garlic cloves and 1 tin of anchovies (minced) over medium heat. Be careful not to burn the garlic.

Step 2: Add 1 c. water (allow the oil to cool a bit before doing so, so that it doesn’t explode in your face) and simmer for 10 minutes. Season with salt (if needed) and black pepper. Add 1 c. chopped parsley before serving. Makes enough sauce for 1 lbs. of linguini. Don’t forget the Parmesan or Romano cheese.

ON THE SEVENTH course of Fishmas my goombah gave to me…

Grilled Scallops

Step 1: Brush both sides of scallops with melted butter. Season with salt, pepper, and paprika.

Step 2: On hot charcoal or gas grill, sear scallops one minute per side (max). Don’t overcook, unless you like the texture of a pencil eraser.

ON THE EIGHTH course of Fishmas my goombah gave to me…

Grilled Octopus

Step 1: #RealTalk! This is where we separate the men from the boys. Bring large pot of salted water to boil. Dip octopus into boiling water for one second then lift. Its tentacles will begin to curl. Dip two more times (they should be good and curly by now), then drop into water and reduce heat to low. Simmer for one hour. Remove and pat dry.

Step 2: Heat charcoal or gas grill. Toss poached octopus with olive oil, salt, and peppah! Grill octopus for one minute each side. When crisped on the grill, remove to cutting board.

Step 3: Cut tentacles and head into 2-3″ sections. Toss with a bit more olive oil/salt/pepper, squeeze of fresh lemon, and a handful of chopped parsley.

ON THE NINTH course of Fishmas my goombah gave to me…

Salmon with Soy-Ginger Marinade

Step 1: Combine the following ingredients in a bowl: 1/3 c. soy sauce; 1/3 c. brown sugar; 1 T sesame oil; 3 cloves minced garlic; 1T minced ginger; red pepper flakes.

Step 2: Place side of salmon (we prefer Atlantic over Pacific) in large zip-lock bag. Pour in the marinade. Seal bag, and place in fridge overnight. Flip bag every now and then to distribute the marinade.

Step 3: Place salmon on parchment paper-covered baking sheet. Bake in 425F oven for 15 minutes (or grill the damn thing, if you prefer).

ON THE TENTH course of Fishmas my goombah gave to me…

Crab Claws

Step 1: Bring large pot of salted water to boil.

Step 2: Submerge crab claws in water and boil for 3 minutes.

Step 3: Remove crab claws, give them a good couple of cracks with a mallet, and serve with melted salted butter. Not so hard.

ON THE ELEVENTH course of Fishmas my goombah gave to me, THIS!

UPDATE (12/28/2020): Inspired by the fantastic movie “Feast of the Seven Fishes,” we added a new dish in 2020. Baccala Balls! They were awesome. Recipe and photos HERE.

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